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Abominable Snowman Sighted At Lake Minnetonka

January 26, 2017

Chet Brinkley, Staff Reporter — 

To the astonishment of Lake Minnetonka residents the Abominable Snowman, also known as “Bumble,” was witnessed ambling across the Lower Lake this past Friday evening just before sunset. Bumble, who is believed to occupy a glacier flow located South/Southeast of Santa’s Workshop along with his friends Rudolph, Cornelius, and Hermey the Elf, has rarely been seen since his stand-out performance in the classic 1964 Rankin & Bass Christmas special, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

First spotted by cross country skiers on Maxwell Bay, Bumble trampled half a dozen ice houses and easily repelled menacing snowmobilers as he crossed Big Island in the direction of Excelsior Bay.

Panicked Maynard’s patrons scattered, dropping cell phones and dashing for safety as Bumble lingered at the popular restaurant’s snow covered docks. The only existing photo was taken by a rooftop webcam, which appears to show Bumble jovially waving at viewers.

Massive footprints indicate the monster continued toward Adele’s, where windows were smashed and crates of frozen custard went missing (indeed, custard is said to be a delicacy among Abominable Snowmen, whose regular diet consists of candy canes and slow pixies); the crater-like footprints then turn Northward in the general direction of the Island of Misfits.

South Lake Police declined to comment while the incident is still under investigation.


*The accuracy of this report has yet to be determined.

Last modified: January 27, 2017

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